The 'best of' my teaching career (part I)

Just a taste of the daily dose of hilarity from school (and these are only the parts I can remember)! This is why I love kids.

1. " You're American? So you eat hamburgers all the time?" Yes. Only hamburgers. Instead of kitchens, Americans actually have pipes that run directly to the nearest MacDonalds.
2. " Did you come in a boat?" No, I would call it more of a raft. I was also accompanied by my best friend, a volleyball.
3. The time half a class started singing "I like to move it move it" to me and dancing (yes, the Jock Jams one). Then they asked what it meant. I almost died laughing, because I was picturing something halfway between a club and a sporting event, filled with a few hundred seven-year-olds.
4. The fact that I regularly inform my classes that I don't speak or understand French, in French, and no one casts a doubt on that logic.
5. Constant questions about the stars of the WWE? WWF? Whatever it is now, it's called Catch here, and I couldn't care less in ANY language. This leads to a subcategory, in which I am asked to define a wide variety of words pertaining to death, pain, and injury. Thank you, travesties of American culture.
6. While drawing a person to label the body parts, widespread crisis regarding whether they should draw a boy or a girl, culminating in "Well what's the word for penis?" Add that to the list of things I'm NOT teaching. Note: This is not the first time I've been asked.
7. Yelling in English, which induces a shocked and awe-filled silence. I wish that worked in the US, too. Unfortunately, as Pipe Dream illustrated, all my screaming still won't even get me out of a numeric seven in a headline.
8. Dancing around the teachers' room on my breaks to stay awake, because everyone is in class and thus can't see me. Every morning I have my own epic dance party to minimize the effects of four hours of sleep. Classy.
9. " Do you know of Barack Obama?" Yeah, you know, the same sounds familiar ... "Michael Jackson?" Ohhhh, you know, I don't really pay attention to basketball.
10. "These are your feet." "FRITES!" Best part? I don't think they know that we call frites French fries.

Don't worry, those snappy comebacks are the things that I WISH I could say, which has no correlation with what I actually did say :)