I'm just going to see if my head fits in this oven.

I am  in no way avoiding working on my final papers [cough cough], but I feel compelled to share the stupid that I have just witnessed. I also feel that I should preface by stating quite openly that I do not consider myself a "feminist," BUT I do consider myself to be a female worthy of some intellectual merit.

I have long meant to delete my email from Victoria's Secret's mailing list, because they consistently suggest that my goals in life should center upon the purchase of inordinate quantities of underwear, and bras designed with enough padding to insulate a small house. As you may imagine, I disagree with their beliefs.

Just now, I received this email, with the subject "PINK loves Sunday football."

It's amazing how accurately they have portrayed my average Sunday! I LOVE sitting around in my underwear, suggestively undressing myself, and making stupid faces at the TV! Never mind my shirts vs. skins powderpuff games with pink, polka-dotted helmets!

Oh sorry, gotta go - I heard the women's liberation train is leaving town, and I want to make sure I'm on it!

Ah yes, but what of Uzbeki-beki-bekistan?

As some of you may be aware, I am from CENTRAL New York. Not midtown, CNY. In fact, you may remember that I earned myself a rash of hate mail as an innocent [cough] freshman writer for Pipe Dream, with this article.

Today, John McCain gave me reason to believe that I should give him just a teensy bit more credit than I have been, by creating a scandal with this statement.

BOOM.

I cannot possibly explain to you the vindication, the cackling with glee, the victory dances, the imaginary spiking of my imaginary Ugg boots ... In fact, I will vigorously deny all of them. Nevertheless, this probably just made my day/week/life.

I can't decide if I like McCain's comment better, or if I prefer Schumer's Twitter hissy fit. I think it's safe to say that the incremental increase in my respect for John McCain is trumped by a precipitous drop in my respect for Chuck Schumer. Seriously, dude. Lighten up. Your constituents are not generally the type to watch political debates/read the news/follow current events (no offense, Val, this is a qualified statement).

In further geographical news, as reduxed by my impeccable procrastination efforts, I give you this gem. He had me at "Princess Nancy," but he truly won my heart and mind with his refined grasp of foreign policy and international relations.

And then I remembered that I'm not reading The Onion or McSweeneys, and I decided that perhaps graduate school in political science is far more difficult than running for the highest office in the land.