I'm waiting for the MaxiPad.

These ads are EVERYWHERE. 28 Mai. Got it.

Keep it up and I'll show you where to stick that pad ...

Jared would probably eat to celebrate.

So the ongoing sandwich debates, we have a winner. Of course Subway knows that there's no w and the plural is es.

I no longer have to whine unless I find a new variant.

LET THERE BE KELLY O'CONNOR (and Sean!)

So the planets aligned and fate pulled itself out of it's typical cyclic tendencies, and KELLY O'CONNOR came to Paris :) She brought along my pretend brother aka her brother Sean, too. I, however, had an appointment to stop being a half-illegal immigrant. When I was finally given my stupid stamp and X-rays of my lungs (I think I'll frame them for my wall?), I hauled my butt back to Grenelle to intercept the O'Connor invasion. This was the scene upon arrival ...

Apparently when Kelly and Sean asked me what I wanted, I unknowingly made a list of nothing but cookies. To balance it out Kelly brought me Wegmans gummy bears and DUCK SAUCE, mmm. I am single-handedly keeping Keebler in business : knock off thin mints, E.L. Fudge, rainbow chocolate chip, FORTUNE COOKIES and raspberry/chocolate Milanos. Remember the time I gained 40 lbs?

I do.

Kelly's first French sandwich was actually a loaf of bread. This angle doesn't do it justice.

Then Kelly needed to take some medicine, and we elected to take it with alcohol. We then meditated on whether or not an Irish Car Bod is synonymous with an Irish Car Bomb.

To commemorate your trip to Paris, why don't you bring back a sweet hooker on Rue Saint Dénis figurine? Comes with miniature front door and darling hooker figurine -- SURE TO PLEASE GRANDMA!

Kelly and Sean liked crêpes too ... but none of us tried the whepped cream.

Then I brought them to the Marché aux Puces at Montreuil (because it remains one of my favorite places). For those of you with Molly Fixations, I got your back :) Let me know if you want one ... although I'm not sure what about me would lead you to fixate on a tape measure/level/mini pencil/mini pad unit.

I love when t-shirts are in English-gibberish. Makes me really glad I don't go strolling around wearing languages I don't understand.

TRUE - SPIRIT - OF MIND - BOWLING - PHYSIQUE - DENIM ... Somebody was like, "Hey, I know what we can write on the shirt! Take out your dictionary and pick random words!"

Kelly wanted to feel like all the cool French kids that stroll around with baguettes.

Now Kelly and Sean have left me (sniff sniff), but I think the trip was a success. We celebrated Kelly's birthday the night before they left, and everytime I eat another 10 cookies, I'll think of them :) I like having my visitors!

It's not cute, it's false advertising!

1+1=3. Perhaps in politics and other trivial affairs, but for important things like boxes of cookies or how many boxes of cookies I have eaten in the last two days, I prefer to round down.

I'm SIMPLY correcting you.

This is a grocery store just behind school. I have a beef with their sign:

You can't BE SIMPLY. You can SIMPLY BE, but it doesn't work the other way around. Not that American stores haven't made grammatical errors (let's face it, most stores still have items for '5 items or less,' a line which technically no one has the right to enter because you can't have less, only fewer than five items).

NEVERTHELESS this one got to me. Unlike all the others I post ... uhhhh ...

Which witch is is the sandwich?

During the faintly intellectual conversations that used to pass in Adirondack 103 (Binghamton apartment), I distinctly remember discussing correct mispronunciations. Like how we butcher French in English, but there's a certain way to butcher it correctly. Ditto Latin.

Well, this isn't pronunciation, this is spelling. If you want to agree on a misspelling, I will grudgingly accept it (because after all, that's how we ended up with modern languages), but let's just get it straight -- you have the right to ONE, UNIFIED, identifiable misspelling.

This one was in Abbeville.

This one was in Eyragues (outside of Avignon a bit), which is where Charlotte's family lives.

A mostly architectural tour of Abbeville.

Arrival in Abbeville, Saturday night.

Look left:

Look right:

Well then.

We spent Sunday wandering around Abbeville, which left me with a ton of pictures of funny buildings and signs. I'll try not to bore you, but this is going to be a long one. At least it's mostly pictures.

Brief history lesson: Every time France gets into a war in Europe, Abbeville gets flattened. This monument attests to the mutilation it suffered during WWI. Guess we should be glad that WWII didn't flatten it altogether.

This church is condemned, and supposedly they're going to knock it down. Knock a church down, in France? Never, you say. I know, I was shocked. Apparently the work needed is too expensive, even though the residents want to save it.

Cute little street. Now watch this:

Residence at No° 5 ...

Residence at No° 3 ...

Residence at No° 1 ... Wait, what? That's rough.

Strolling. That's actually an island, wedged between a river and a canal.

Cryptic ancient ruins in the middle of some houses.

Molly and I (makes me sound schizophrenic, doesn't it?) took a relaxing break.

The river through town is La Somme.

For the record, there was no pont (bridge). Is this irony? There's a joke to be made here.

Different church, not too far from Molly's school/apartment (she lived on the campus of the middle school). Let me take a moment to reemphasize the spacious grandeur of her apartment. I can't pretend to hide my jealousy.

That means what you think it means. Ouf.

Climbing on some sort of ancient fortifications (you can't see from this angle, but I'm on the edge of a massive drop off/ancient brick wall). You can see that second church a little ways behind me!

Thanks, Captain Obvious. If that massive cliff didn't tip me off, I don't think the sign is going to help me.

We briefly considered this 'short-cut,' to the bottom of the wall, but eventually decided we both liked our lives too much to risk relatively certain injury.

Uhhh, I can still see your window. Molly told me that there was once a tax on windows, so people bricked them in so as not to pay as much (somehow windows = rich). Still looks weird.

You may not be aware, but Super Mario World is actually based on Abbeville. Look at those monster flowerpots! IN THE ROAD, no less! And also, that guy to the right-center is riding a go-cart. I swear. And we saw a half dozen of them driving around that day. Mario Kart. I knew it.

These are school buses. In my opinion, they don't count unless they're yellow.

Amiens, in short.

My friend, Molly (another 'fake,' her name is Marissa), worked as an assistant in a middle school in Abbeville, which isn't too far from Amiens, which is in the region of northern France known as Picardie.

I'd been planning to visit her for months, but life in general got in the way. When Caitlin's flight was unexpectedly canceled because of the volcano, I suddenly had a week of nothing. Not a single plan. So I ran away to Abbeville/Amiens for the week-end.

When I got there Saturday morning, we went straight to the Museum of Picardie and its history. Voilà.

This was part of the inside. Not your typical paint job, that's for sure.

Ancient safety pins. I found it entertaining; they had tons of exhibits and discussions of ancient ruins. I really liked this museum, although my bad memory means that I can't cite any interesting facts.

I am told that the beautiful weather I enjoyed was atypical. At any rate there was a music festival in the Place Gambetta in the middle of town, so Molly and I ended up spending a big chunk of the afternoon there. This group is called The Nightingales, and the singer's voice is a style a bit like Counting Crows (and completely without accent)! I figured I had nothing to lose, so I struck up a conversation with the singer to see if he was American or not (not, as it turns out). I ended up chatting with half the band, and it turns out they're playing a show at the Olympia in Paris in September (which is a big deal). Little did I know. Too bad the show will be before I'm back!

The biggest cathedral in France, I'm told. Didn't go inside though.

It is very colorful.

This stupid movie traumatized me in FREN 241 at Binghamton. It possibly ruined French film for me as a side effect, but we shall see.

Scenic overlook. We stopped in one of the nearby bars for mojitos, but the volcano had grounded the planes that bring mint from Morocco. NO MOJITOS? Unacceptable. This volcano must be stopped.

We took a tour of the canals (remnants of the Romans!) while we were in Amiens. It was so beautiful and calm that I was half asleep by the end of the tour. I think I'm developing narcolepsy ...

After that we headed to Molly's place in Abbeville. Her bathroom was the size of my apartment, which is one way of describing how HUGE her place was. Lucky.

But what is the question?!

Besides, from what I know of Einstein (via primarily other quotes), I'm not sure he'd approve.

This doesn't look like the same videogame, but same style and he's cute! And protesting. Obviously French.

Then Julien broke his arm late Thursday night a few weeks ago, so I spent Friday in the hospital with him, distracting him with Toy Story balloons (thanks Lin and Emma, those came in handy!) and attempts to read Métronome to him. You try reading Latin names and stuff in the middle of French. I can only imagine what the equivalent disaster would sound like in English.

Also, I like that this magazine refers to your time in the hospital as 'your stay,' which makes it seem more like a luxury hotel.

It involves string instruments, and his name is Spooky. I should have been there.